


When Did You Know You Loved Me?

by robronsugsy



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-28
Updated: 2015-03-28
Packaged: 2018-03-20 00:57:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3630714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robronsugsy/pseuds/robronsugsy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aaron asks Robert about just when he realized he loved him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When Did You Know You Loved Me?

**Author's Note:**

> This prompt was a hard thought just because in-canon I'm still not 100% on whether not Robert genuinely loves Aaron, but I'm going to write this as if he did mean it 100%, so possibly/maybe AU?
> 
> Thanks to anoirtac for the prompt! If anyone has any prompts they might like me to have a go at, feel free to leave a comment with it and I'll try and get round to it :)

"When did you know you loved me?"

The awkward silence of the two boys, sat far apart both on edge of their seats waiting for something to happen, before Aaron finally wiped away his tears and mustered up the courage to speak.

Robert looked at Aaron as he too wiped away the few tears he'd produced "What?"

"When did you realize.. that you.. you know."

 

Robert rose to his feet and began pacing. If he was being truly honest with himself, he didn't want to say it in this situation, or at all. Because by saying those three little words to Aaron out loud, meant they were real. They weren't just unexplainable, unidentifiable feelings in the back of Robert's mind that he couldn't and didn't want to recognize. They were real feelings that now had that label and it only terrified him. Robert had dropped all his walls and all that was left was Robert. Not the business man, the husband or the adulterer, just Robert Sugden. It wasn't words he could take back without destroying Aaron, without destroying everything between them. They weren't lies, but Robert wasn't sure if they were the complete truth.

 

"It's not really something you can explain is it? I don't think you can just put a time stamp on when you suddenly went from one feeling to another." Robert was almost laughing, he hated the serious atmosphere and the eyes that were burning into him from Aaron, who was following his every movement through watering eyes.

 

Aaron scoffed. He'd heard the words but he wasn't sure if he truly believed them. Did Robert Sugden really love him? Or was this all just a way to keep him in? To keep him sweet?

 

Robert could sense Aaron's attitude, he knew what he was thinking. And although Robert may have regretted saying the words, he wasn't about to leave them unexplained. So he took a deep breath before sitting himself down next to Aaron.

 

"I think it's obvious I was attracted to you pretty much instantly. But I didn't know you, I just saw the grumpy git who stole my car with Ross. But there was something about you that intrigued me. I wanted to figure you out, among other things" Robert winked, while Aaron laughed faintly.

"Obviously everything happened, we started things up, and it just.. as time went on it just became less about getting you into bed and just being with you. I didn't know what I was feeling and to be honest I didn't want to think about it. I was getting married, you weren't supposed to be anything to me. So that's what I told myself. But the thoughts and feelings were all still there, tormenting me. When I was alone, with Chrissie, with a complete stranger, those things were always still lingering around."

"It was hard to walk away from you, when you constantly ended things. Every time you ended it for whatever reason it got harder and harder to process it happening and it became more and more important that I get things back on track."

Robert looked at Aaron who was just staring at the floor, he took another sigh and continued.

"The wedding... it-I just, I wanted to be married. I know you don't wanna hear it but I love Chrissie and I wanted to marry her. I did want things to continue with you, but I just told myself that was just because I was having fun, the morality of it all went away and in a twisted way it didn't feel like I'd be having this big dirty secret affair but I'd just be with two people, one I loved and one I cared about. You told me you loved me, and-it was just sprung on me, I didn't have time to process it. I didn't believe you did, it felt like you were just saying it to stop me getting married. Even when everything happened, during the wedding, the days after, even when everything became about Katie I still had those words rattling around my brain. It messed with me. But we had bigger issues to deal with."

 

"But then at the quarry. I saw you. I saw the way you were. I was seeing the way you were hurting and the guilt and pain you were feeling and it was killing me inside. You'd said about taking the blame for me at the pub and, I-I just couldn't let you do that. I couldn't watch you or let you suffer. I just felt an overwhelming sense of wanting to protect you."

"I suppose, the moment I realized I loved you was the moment I thought I lost you. On the quarry's edge, you were just standing there, staring. And then the next minute you disappeared, I couldn't see you and I can't even begin to explain the terrifying feelings I felt. I thought I'd lost you and that was the worst feeling in the world. I couldn't lose you. I can't lose you. That feeling ate me up inside. I'd never felt it before."

Aaron returned to facing Robert and grabbed his hand.

"Since you ended it I was forcing myself to believe I was fine and I didn't care. I avoided you at all costs, I threw myself into work, into being a husband and step-dad and it just wasn't working. I still thought about you every day, wondering how you were, what you were doing. And it just made me realize that there had to be more there than I was even willing to admit. Then when I finally saw you again you looked so defeated, I hated it. All my energy went into trying and getting you to talk to me and get you to open up."

Robert took a moment of silence before sighing.

"Everything I said, I meant. Every word. I know that you might not believe me but I am. It took everything in me to let you know those things and I don't say them often if at all to anyone. I love you."

Aaron smiled before clasping Robert's face and kissing him.

"I love you too."


End file.
